Changes

Tonight I was asked if my work in this series has changed over time. Yes, yes it has. I noticed this the last time i photographed, a couple weeks ago. I wanted to write about why it has changed as sort of a marker of time and its effect on art.

Over time, the wall between me and these women has started to break so there is visibly more comfortability in the photos. Also, what I mean by the photos being more "art" and less documentary is because over time I've started seeing them not so much as crossdressers but as a group of women. So the "art" comes in as the photographs are becoming simply photographs of people. A social gathering. This is not to say that a photograph of just anything or anyone can't be "art." I am saying that the best stories are told first hand. Art viewers bring their own experience to relate to a piece. As a photographer, I bring my own experience to a setting until my subjects become an experience.

In the beginning, as much as I wanted to stay away from irony, I couldn't help but capture it because my relationship with these women was purely superficial and from afar. I still see the duality in certain situations but now just the same as any photographer sees duality, irony, humor and beauty enough to photograph it.

To quote Nan Goldin, "These pictures come out of relationships, not observations."
This statement has driven this series from the very beginning. This was my goal. Fortunately, it is a goal I don't have to stop at once achieved.

I like my meat well done!

It's been a while since I've updated here. Mostly due to laziness...also I hadn't been so consistent in showing up. But recently I saw some benefits of my general consistency with the ladies. Last week they threw me a birthday party since I wasn't present during my actual birthday a week prior. I got a cake which they do generally. But then Rita brought out the card they had all signed and the camera bag they bought me. They bought me a camera bag. I guess they noticed that I never use one when I'm there. I was speechless.

Apparently the week before there had been some drama surrounding picture taking during a function and one of the ladies got a little bent when I started firing my camera. But Amy then pulled me aside to explain...and then told me that she's ok with me photographing her. That I've been around so much and she trusts that what I do will be tasteful. Exactly what I was hoping for this whole year. I've become one of them as much as possible and it's perfect. So they nominated me to cook dinner the next week which brings us to today.

I grilled burgers and made a pasta salad which they applauded twice. The love I feel in the group is immense and we laugh at each other like old friends and family. After the cooking and eating there was talk about children raised, one of which I wasn't aware of. There also seemed to be some light competition between two of the ladies whose names I won't mention here. Perhaps it's because they're so close in pass-ability. Speaking of which, last week was Christina's first night dressing. I didn't even recognize her. (In the past she had been the one in full male dress taking baby steps with only eyeliner.) Tonight was her first night out in public dressed as a woman. Amy took her for a walk around the neighborhood after her and a few other girls helped Christina brush out her wig and discussed synthetic hair vs. human hair wigs.